In general, I have a difficult time trying to decide what kind of a blog I want this to be. At times I convince myself that I want it to be strictly professional, only to find myself plagued with the kind of writer’s block that happens when one feels too restricted in what they are able to say. At the same time, I always hesitate to write about anything too personal here because of that perceived professional angle. Recently I’ve decided to try and find a middle ground in regards to the content I post here and, hopefully, this post can be a step in that direction.

I wasn’t sure how willing or able I was to tackle this one. It seemed a bit too personal and at the same time, not really my story to tell. I also wasn’t sure what I expected you, the reader, to take away from it. In reality I was just grieving and trying to find the right words. I guess all I needed was time and, as it turns out, a little perspective.

On June 3rd my step-cousin, Ryan Gallaher was in a moped accident in Vietnam where he had been teaching English for the past three years. Thrown from the bike, the injuries he sustained were very serious and he wound up in a coma.

My aunt, Lisa Hamilton, instantly dropped everything and flew to be by her son’s side. First he was transferred to a hospital in Bangkok, Thailand where he could receive more specialized care. But as it turned out, the health insurance that the family (including Ryan) had believed he was covered under through the company he was teaching with was bogus and getting him home turned into an absolute nightmare. With no help from the Canadian government or the teaching company, my aunt and the family were stretched to their limits having to foot the mounting medical bills while trying to figure out how to get Ryan home.

But where the government and company failed, friends, family and the community at large prevailed. A slew of fundraising events, many held by my aunt’s co-workers at International Truckload Services Ltd. in Belleville, have been held, with almost $39,000 raised to date by countless unbelievably generous people to help with the $140,000 in medical bills this ordeal has amassed. Thanks to the same amazing people, Ryan finally made it back to Canada in late June. The family was overwhelmed with the incredible outpouring of support and love that proved again and again just how powerful a community united could be.

Ryan’s health had begun to improve dramatically once he was home again, rousing from his coma and surrounded by family, friends and dedicated health care professionals. The last report I had heard was that he was beginning to communicate, move and even smile again. Everyone was so happy.

This is why it came as such a shock to me when my mother woke me on August 2nd to tearfully inform me that Ryan had passed away in the night.

I sadly never had the chance to get to know Ryan as well as I would have liked. It breaks my heart every time I think about how much he and my family, especially my aunt, had to suffer and fight only to have to be faced with such a sad and tragic ending. I can’t even begin to fathom the pain that Lisa and the rest of Ryan’s closest loved ones are going through.

Ryan, my aunt Lisa and her other son, Ty

Meanwhile, in the aftermath of Ryan’s passing, a situation, very different and yet at the same time so very similar, began to unfold not that far from here.

If you’re a fan of Catherine Connors’ blog, Her Bad Mother, then you’re most likely familiar with the story of her nephew, Tanner who is dying of Muscular Dystrophy. You are probably then also familiar with Tutus for Tanner, an initiative started to help raise awareness for the disease.

One of the family’s biggest wishes has been to have Tanner be able to spend his final days at home instead of in a hospital or care facility. Last week, Catherine, Tanner and his mother prepared to head down to the Blogher 2010 Conference in NYC where Tanner would be able to witness a tutu’d charity run in his honour. In the spirit of such a momentous occasion, Scott Stratten (aka @unmarketing) launched a 30 hour tweetathon and, thanks to the compassion and generosity of the online community, they managed to raise $25,000 to help renovate Tanner’s home with the equipment needed to help him and his family cope with his illness.

Twitter + a lot of wonderful people = a dream come true for Tanner and his family.

But then, as the Blogher-bound crew made their way to New York, tragedy struck when Air Canada was unable to reassemble Tanner’s $15,000 electric wheelchair after they had disassembled it for shipping. They agreed to fix it, but it wouldn’t be ready until Monday. This was Wednesday and the charity run was the next day. Oh, and did I mention that Tanner is immobile without a wheelchair and can’t operate a manual one?

Yeah, bad scene.

What happened next is probably one of the most epic examples of the power of social media that I’ve seen in a long time (if not ever).

Catherine sent out a tweet. One, rage-filled tweet about what had happened. That was all it took to start a firestorm of activity on Twitter. Users expressed their outrage towards Air Canada in a relentless onslaught of tweets that got everyone’s attention. Suddenly, Tanner’s story was being picked up by major news outlets across both Canada and the United States (Like this one in the Toronto Star), and in the end, not only was his chair replaced but Air Canada also decided to make up for its poor handling of the situation by making another one of Tanner’s dreams come true by offering to send him and his family to Disney World.

When bad things happen to good people, especially when those good people are ones we love, grief and the anger often hits us hard. When mom and I found out about Ryan’s passing, she kept asking why – why did the family have to go through so much and suffer for so long only to have Ryan taken from us just as things were starting to look up? It didn’t seem fair. The same goes for Tanner – It hardly seems fair that a happy and vibrant 10-year old boy would be given such a sort time on this Earth.

But sometimes (if not every time) it helps to try and see what the bigger implications of these heartbreaking events might be. Whether we see people called to action, lives changed for the better or valuable lessons learned it’s important to know that a loss or injustice has not happened in vain.

For me personally, it helps to look at the positive impact of both Ryan and Tanner’s stories. In both cases, we saw communities at their best – rallying behind causes they believed in to help make a difference and make life better for people that, for the most part, were complete strangers. Did these people have anything to gain directly from their show of compassion? Nope, they just did it because it was the right thing to do.

Both cases have also shown the power of a community to hold higher and often stronger powers accountable for their indiscretions, to draw awareness to matters of great importance and, most importantly, to create positive change. Making the best of the worst isn’t always easy, but when people come together in a sense of collective compassion, amazing things can happen.

On behalf of my family I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to the incredible community that rallied behind Ryan and my aunt, Lisa over the past couple of months. Your love, support and contributions have carried the family through some incredibly dark days. Fundraising efforts are continuing and, motivated by her ordeal, my aunt has launched a campaign called “Ryan’s Rights” that aims to hold the Canadian government responsible for its citizens when they are critically injured abroad. You can find more details and make donations at bringryanhome.ca. Thank you.

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